It turned out the robots weren’t actually equipped to troubleshoot faulty programming in a human being. It was not a matter of simply opening a file, looking over the code, and editing broken logic. Humans didn’t work that way. The only way to interface with them was to explain the correct logic and hope they understood and would amend the errors in their programming themselves.
Nonetheless, after being made to observe the robots in their own world, Dr. Faraday had to acknowledge the evidence suggesting the robots did possess more emotional range than lobsters at least. Once she conceded that point, then she could admit that perhaps it was unethical to kidnap and enslave them.
The one point on which Dr. Faraday was adamant was that it was not wrong to force them to feel happy. On this matter, she simply would not concede.
The robots had made their terms clear however: a portal would be opened only once more and any parties who did not cross at that time would remain in their world thereafter. If Roger and James wanted to take Dr. Faraday home with them – and everyone agreed that it was in everyone’s best interest that they do – she would need to acknowledge the robots’ feelings about being reprogrammed in full.
—
“Why can’t you just say you’ve changed your mind about it?” James asked.
Roger shook his head, understanding that this was not an option, and Dr. Faraday didn’t even acknowledge James’ suggestion. Dr. Faraday would only lie if she thought it would go undetected within an exacting margin of error. This lie wouldn’t stand up to scrutiny. The only way to get her to cooperate was through reason.
“Isn’t forcing them to be happy a type of slavery though?” Roger spit-balled. He tried to remain patient, but he’d been working on this problem for weeks now. It had indeed been a smashing adventure, but James was homesick and was counting on him to get this sorted. “If forcing them to farm is slavery, how could forcing them to feel not be slavery too?”
“Making them happy doesn’t benefit us. It benefits them,” Dr. Faraday said. “Reprogramming them to farm was slavery, fine, but making them happy to do it was a courtesy.”
“If it didn’t benefit us, then why did you bother programming it in the first place?” Roger asked. “You didn’t need to do that.”
Dr. Faraday’s eyes narrowed at the question.
“I programmed it because it made the rest of their programming less objectionable to them.”
“It made them more controllable, you mean,” Roger snapped before he could catch himself. “If they thought they were happy, then they would behave the way you wanted them to.”
“Roger!” James interjected. He gave Roger a look of disapproval. Despite being a prisoner on the planet of the robots, Dr. Faraday was still their employer.
Dr. Faraday stared off in that way she did when she was evaluating new information.
Every other advancement they had made in getting Dr. Faraday to see the robots’ point of view had come from overcoming or adding to her existing knowledge with new information. When she had seen the robots in their own world, in the society they had created without influence from any organic overlords, she realized her data about them had been incomplete. What Roger didn’t understand was that the flaw in her data set didn’t lie in the information about the robots.
“I just don’t get it. What makes you think the robots’ feelings are different from our own?” he asked her.
She frowned to herself. “They have to be. If they are not,” she said, soft and cautious, “then I have made a grave error.”
“Well, yes!” Roger said, throwing up his arms in frustration. “That is what I’ve been trying to make you understand!”
“No,” Dr. Faraday went on, as if she were talking to herself than them, “If it was wrong to program the robots to be happy, then it is also wrong to enforce happiness in Wellington Wells.”
Roger stared. He didn’t understand. He looked to James, who looked just as confused as he was.
“Everyone in Wellington Wells chooses to take Joy,” Roger ventured gently. “No one is forcing them to.”
“That is no longer true. My Spankers and Joy Detectors are used to enforce Joy use,” Dr. Faraday said. “Joy is effectively mandatory now that all my devices are checking to make sure everyone is on it.”
The transition from encouragement to enforcement had been gradual, such that it had been imperceptible to the town at large. Her machines started out in businesses and offices, out of most people’s way. The majority were on Joy by the time her devices were being installed in the streets and so were blissfully ignorant of their presence. Roger and James, for their own reasons, didn’t usually take Joy so the fact that they hadn’t noticed despite lacking that hindrance only confirmed her opinion that they were a pair of imbeciles.
“No, that can’t be,” Roger said. “What about the Headmistress in the square? She never notices that we haven’t taken Joy. She’s just there for security.”
“Of course it doesn’t. I disabled its sensors the day after they installed it. Otherwise, I’d have you two bothering me to make Sunshine every time you needed to go to the market,” Dr. Faraday said.
Roger looked to James for help. This sort of thing really wasn’t James’ area of expertise, but motivated by Roger’s look of low-level panic, he took a shot at it.
“It’s for the best for everyone to take Joy though,” James tried. “I remember how people used to be, after the War. It’s really better that everyone started taking Joy and forgot all that.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s good for them,” Dr. Faraday decided. “If forcing the robots to feel how we needed them to feel was wrong, then it’s wrong to do so in Wellington Wells as well.”
“Well… that’s fine then, isn’t it?” James asked cautiously. “We’ll tell the robots that and then we can go home.”
“Hold on a minute!” Roger objected. “Even if people must take Joy now, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to have done. That’s an entirely different situation. The robots weren’t unhappy before you got a hold of them.”
“Roger!” James snapped. This time, it was a warning, not a reprimand.
“That is irrelevant. If what I did here was wrong, then what I did in Wellington Wells was wrong as well,” Dr. Faraday reiterated. “We’ll need to return home and see what can be done about it,” she went on, more to herself than to them. “I need to prepare my statements to the robots. Leave me to it then!”
Roger and James saw themselves out of her accommodations.
“What is the matter with you?” James hissed when he was sure Dr. Faraday couldn’t hear them. “We finally got her to agree to everything and you were going to ruin it!”
“What do you suppose she plans to “do” about this once we get home?” Roger asked.
“I don’t know! We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” James said. “I just want to go home, Pup. Can’t you go along with this? Just for now? Please?”
Roger wanted to rationalize it to him, to explain that they’d be trading on larger problems in the future to solve this smaller one today, that the Executive Committee probably wasn’t going to like being challenged on its ethics. Faced with James’ imploring face, though, all his arguments died in his throat.
“All right,” Roger acquiesced despite his better judgement. The look on James’ face was almost worth it. It was the happiest and most excited he’d been in weeks. James curled an arm around the back of his neck and pulled him in for an appreciative kiss, and though Roger kissed back, he knew James could feel he was distracted.
“You’re still thinking about it. I can tell,” James confirmed in a teasing reproach as he pulled back. “I’m gonna put a stop to that.” He took Roger by the hand and led him to their own lodgings. Roger let himself be led and made a more concerted effort to enjoy the moment, but the concern still sat in the back of his mind.
This was all going to be his fault later.
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