Django Durango

“This place is pretty cool,” Summer said to fill the time while they waited for the elevator to come up. “I didn’t think we’d ever see stuff like this after the dotcom bubble. And y’all’re making actual money this time around?”

“Heh, yes, we’re doing quite well,” the tour guide said. The elevator arrived and they both got on. The doors slid shut and the elevator descended.

“So Summer,” he broached, “I’m afraid there was an ulterior motive in offering you a tour of our headquarters.”

“Aw fuck, this isn’t like that thing where the police say you won a drawing for a boat and then they arrest you when you come to get it, is it?” Summer asked. She was making a joke, but the fact that she was stuck – trapped – in an elevator rose a few ranks of importance in the back of her mind.

“Well, to be honest, it is a little like that,” the tour guide said. “except instead of arresting you, we’d like to offer you a job.”

Summer stared. She couldn’t quite process what he’d just said. She had been joking, but it kinda sounded like this guy knew she made her money by robbing gas stations. Summer debated internally how to respond to this. She didn’t want to just assume that’s what he was saying though. hat if she was misunderstanding the situation? She didn’t want to tip her hand. She had to say something though.

“What?” she asked after a too-long pause.

The tour guide chuckled.

“Yeah, this is always the hardest part. We actually used to track people like you down through the app and approach them in public because we thought it was safer that way. A lot of us ended up getting shot though so now we ask people to come here.”

Summer blinked at this admission and then asked, “What?” again.

“Right, sorry,” the tour guide said. “To cut the crap, we know you’re a gas station bandit. We’d like to offer you an opportunity to pull robberies for us.”

That took all the ambiguity out of it. They knew. Summer wasn’t caught yet though. The elevator had to open sometime and when it did, she could just dart out and make her escape.

They were already at the second floor and a moment later, the floor number display read “1”.

But the elevator didn’t stop. It kept descending.

“What the fuck? Does this elevator ever stop?” Summer asked.

The tour guide chuckled.

“We’re going to my office in the subterranean levels.”

“They give tour guides offices?” Summer asked.

“I’m not really a tour guide,” he said in a stage whisper, as if she should’ve picked up on that already and he was reminding her.

“Okay, but wouldn’t it have been easier to wait until I was trapped in your office to tell me you were gonna… blackmail me?” Summer ventured a guess.

“We tried that, but people tend to bolt up and run for it the second you tell them you know they’re a bank robber and then we’d have to chase them down. We found the elevator ride was better because you can’t run anywhere. It’s just long enough for us to state the situation, let you get the panic out of your system, and then calm down,” the not-tour guide explained. “And we’re not blackmailing you either. We’re offering you a job. You’re welcome to turn it down.”

The elevator finally stopped and the doors slid open.

“If you’ll come with me to my office, I can tell you more about it,” the not-tour guide said brightly stepping out of the elevator and waiting for her.

Summer hung back. Should she? It could still be a trap. Although if it was, Summer still thought there had been better opportunities to spring it. On the other hand, she was intrigued. She’d never been offered a job before and –

The elevator doors were shutting. Summer hopped over the threshold before the doors could shut her in.

The not-a-tour guide snickered.