Interior Decorating at the Super 8

This is a post I’ve thought about making many times before, but could never drag my ass along to get it done. I have finally been driven to this point, however.

Let me preface this by saying that I like my bossman a lot and that he is a pretty cool dude, so far as bossmen go. That said, however, the man has no taste whatsoever. When he bought the hotel a few years ago, he started renovating and decorating. The majority of this effort goes into the lobby.


One of the first things bossman installed in the lobby was this bad boy right here:

They say he looks a lot like the other night auditor. I thought the idea of a bell was fucking stupid since we already had the wireless phone and that the dude was just tacky. As you will see, however, trying to exert any sense of aesthetic in this place is a losing battle.

Bossman really like plants. He’s really got a thing for fresh cut flowers, but he likes greens just as well. I don’t think he actually knows much about plants though. Case in point, this unfortunate looking specimen:

This is some sort of vine plant. In a planting pot. It’s trying so hard, but I think its battle to grow is about as futile as mine is to work in a place with proper interior decorating.

These ones, however, are thriving. They still need the assistance of bossman’s thumb tacks though. My dad grows these at home. They’re hanging plants. : / I could make a joke about the other side of the world being backwards, but…

He’s got a taste for country scene paintings. Particularly in the form of puzzles. Yes. Puzzles.

Of course, that doesn’t mean he has to, you know, pick a theme and go with it. He apparently liked modern furniture just as much.

Modern lamps with a big ass picture of a country scene with an equally big-ass “antique” gold frame. Also, note that he painted the table with the same paint he used on the woodwork. Which is some ridic orange color.

As he also did to this behemoth of an entertainment center I came in to find dominating the lobby one day.

Of course, we don’t have anything more entertaining in there than one would find in the rooms. Offended taste aside, I draw the line at anything that entices the guests to spend any more time in my presence than necessary. I’ve already done everything I can to make the computer as little fun as possible.

That means he has to find things to fill up all that empty space though. Like, for instance:

Dolphins. Yeah, I don’t know either. The elephants at least make some sense.

The thing that really gets me about this one is the elephant on the bottom. He is some sort of lamp, I think, but he’s not plugged in. Instead, his cord is wrapped around him in the least visually pleasing way imaginable. In addition, the face front placement is just bewildering to me when he did such a nice arrangement with the other elephant. (The flash blanked out the picture, but I’ll give you three guesses as to what it is of.)

But you know what this place really needs?

Some random Asian thing. Yes, sir.

I don’t even know when this thing made it up there. I’m beginning to think he’s doing this on purpose. And now I have supporting evidence.

When I came in on Monday this week, it stood large and in charge of the other side of the pole from Mr. Crotch Bell. Never before did I regret not carrying my camera as a habit more than that evening. Verily so, I prayed that bossman would not develop sudden sensibility in the three days until I was scheduled again. But I worried for naught. Indeed, when I returned, not only was the fountain still there, but he had “improved” upon it with some Mardi Gras beads.

Behold this spectacle.

Yes. A cheap, plastic, magic faucet fountain. Complete with pink (orange?) and yellow lighting, plastic flowers, and the ability to sprinkle water everywhere.

In addition, bossman added his own touches with real flowers and Mardi Gras beads.

Yes, friends and neighbors, I get to sit amongst all this splendor every evening. I am sure you are envious.

Related post

  1. Decor is Very Important: Eclecticism Like on Friends
  2. Decor is Very Important: Action Figures
  3. Crime Time with Mimes
  6. Fry Street: Before United Equites

There are no comment yet.



The Take!

The Team Pank Chucklefucks



February 2019
« Jan    




 We got more cookies and they gave us another box.
   Simon got me this nanoblock boxer because his jowls made me go "Awwwwwwww!"


  • photo from Tumblr



    Weaponry used during the 1929 Valentines Day massacre.

    On February 14, 1929,St. Valentine’s Day, five members of theNorth Side Gang, plus gang collaborators Reinhardt H. Schwimmer and John May, were lined up against the rear inside wall of the garage at 2122 North Clark Street, in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago’s North Side, and executed. Two of the shooters were dressed as uniformed police officers, while the others wore suits, ties, overcoats and hats, according to witnesses who saw the “police” leading the other men at gunpoint out of the garage after the shooting. John May’sGerman Shepherd, Highball, who was leashed to a truck, began howling and barking, attracting the attention of two women who operated boarding houses across the street.

    One of the women, Mrs. Landesman, sensed something was wrong and sent one of her roomers to the garage to see what was upsetting the dog. The man ran out, sickened at the sight.Frank Gusenbergwas still alive after the killers left the scene and was rushed to the hospital shortly after police arrived at the scene. When the doctors had Gusenberg stabilized, police tried to question him but when asked who shot him, he replied “Nobody shot me”, despite having sustained fourteen bullet wounds.

    George Moran was the boss of the long-established North Side Gang, formerly headed byDion O'Banion, who was murdered by four gunmen five years earlier in his flower shop on North State Street. Everyone who had taken command of the North Siders since O'Banion’s rule had been murdered, supposedly by various members or associates of the Capone organization. This massacre was allegedly planned by the Capone mob in retaliation for an unsuccessful attempt by Frank Gusenberg and his brother Peter to murderJack McGurnearlier in the year and for the North Side Gang’s complicity in the murders ofPasqualino “Patsy” LolordoandAntonio “The Scourge” Lombardo– both had been presidents of theUnione Siciliane, the localMafia, and close associates of Capone. Bugs Moran’s muscling in on a Capone-run dog track in the Chicago suburbs, his takeover of several Capone-owned saloons that he insisted were in his territory, and the general rivalry between Moran and Capone for complete control of the lucrative Chicago bootlegging business were probable contributing factors to this incident.

    The plan was to lure Bugs Moran to the SMC Cartage warehouse on North Clark Street. Contrary to common belief, this plan did not intend to eliminate the entire North Side gang – just Moran, and perhaps two or three of his lieutenants. It is usually assumed that they were lured to the garage with the promise of a stolen, cut-rate shipment of whiskey, supplied by Detroit’sPurple Gang, also associates of Capone. However, some recent studies dispute this, although there seems to have been hardly any other good reason for so many of the North Siders to be there. One of these theories states that all of the victims (with the exception of John May) were dressed in their best clothes, which would not have been suitable for unloading a large shipment of whiskey crates and driving it away – even though this is how they, and other gangsters, were usually dressed at the time. The Gusenberg brothers were also supposed to drive two empty trucks to Detroit that day to pick up two loads of stolen Canadian whisky.

    On St. Valentine’s Day, most of the Moran gang had already arrived at the warehouse by approximately 10:30 AM. Moran was not there, having left his Parkway Hotel apartment late. As Moran and one of his men, Ted Newberry, approached the rear of the warehouse from a side street they saw the police car pull up. They immediately turned and retraced their steps, going to a nearby coffee shop. On the way, they ran into another gang member, Henry Gusenberg, and warned him away from the place. A fourth gang member, Willie Marks, was also on his way to the garage when he spotted the police car. Ducking into a doorway, he jotted down the license number before leaving the neighborhood.

    Capone’s lookouts likely mistook one of Moran’s men for Moran himself – probably Albert Weinshank, who was the same height and build. That morning the physical similarity between the two men was enhanced by their dress: both happened to be wearing the same color overcoats and hats. Witnesses outside the garage saw a Cadillac sedan pull to a stop in front of the garage. Four men, two dressed in police uniform, emerged and walked inside. The two fake police officers, carrying shotguns, entered the rear portion of the garage and found members of Moran’s gang and two gang collaborators, Reinhart Schwimmer and John May, who was fixing one of the trucks. The “police officers” then ordered the men to line up against the wall.

    The two “police officers” then signaled to the pair in civilian clothes who had accompanied them. Two of the killers opened fire withThompson sub-machine guns, one containing a 20-round box magazine and the other a 50-round drum. They were efficient, spraying their victims left and right, even continuing to fire after all seven had hit the floor. The seven men were ripped apart in the volley, and two shotgun blasts afterward all but obliterated the faces of John May and James Clark, according to the coroner’s report.

    To give the appearance that everything was under control, the men in street clothes came out with their hands up, prodded by the two uniformed police officers. Inside the garage, the only survivors in the warehouse were Highball (May’s German Shepherd) and Frank Gusenberg. Despite fourteen bullet wounds, he was still conscious, but died three hours later, refusing to utter a word about the identities of the killers.’s_Day_Massacre

    Today in history, February 14, 1929, the gangland execution known as The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre occurred, solidifying Al Capone’s ruthless reputation.