Category: Articles

I Can’t Do Shit With “I’m Sorry”

I’ve spent a lot of my adult relationships accepting bullshit apologies. Part of it is just a personal failing of my own: I find it hard to make friends because I’m picky about who I spend my time on and consequently, I will put up with a lot if I think you are cool enough. I’m working on that.

I think, however, that a lot of it is a misunderstanding about the purpose of the apology. It’s taken me a long time to realize why I accept people’s I’m Sorries and then still feel resentful about whatever it is that they did for months, even years after. It’s because many people seem to think an apology is the solution to a problem. You fuck up, you say sorry, and all is forgiven. I used to think that too, thus my massive dissatisfaction. But it ain’t.

An apology is actually just the acknowledgement of a problem that you caused.

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The Men of Orange is the New Black

So there’s an article from The Atlantic going around about how under- and misrepresented the poor, poor men are in a show about a women’s prison. The bulk of it is mostly about how the show frames women as victims of misguided love to make their backstories more dramatic and sympathetic than those of the male prisoners. He complains that these male prisoners, of which we see a whole three with speaking roles, are depicted in positively stereotypical ways that give us no room to see them as victims too.

His only example of how horribly male prisoners are represented… is the single male prisoner with any real characterization at all. Darius McRae (who I might point out the author hinged this whole argument on and could not be bothered to look up his name) is a black man in prison presumably because he is also a hitman. He and two other white male prisoners are given speaking roles in the airplane scene of season two’s premiere. As opposed the white guys, whose very stereotypical depiction has them discussing what one can and cannot see in a bird’s eye view of the Midwest, McRae introduces himself by suggesting to Piper that she can ride his dick to Chicago.

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Faminism: Food in The Devil Wears Prada

Someone searched for “faminism the devil wears prada” on here. Spelling error aside, why the hell not? Let’s talk about food in Prada.

It gets overshadowed by the fashion, but food is actually used a lot in this movie to delineate the differences between the culture at Runway and Andy’s lifestyle. Unlike fashion, however, it’s not Andy’s complete cluelessness about the topic that draws the line between the worlds she walks in, but in the appreciation of it.

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Maybe You Should Leave the Mask On

So I was real !!! about A Merry Payday Christmas and I decided to watch the Payday web series, which I had known was a thing but had never bothered with before. This is a series of short episodes that elaborate on the Payday story, such as it is. Or maybe it’s some sort of alternate reality thing, which is my sincere hope and what I’m going to blissfully assume.

‘Cause frankly, the web series sucks.

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Baby, It’s Slut-Shamey Outside

It’s that time of year again, when all the new SJ warriors “discover” that Baby, It’s Cold Outside is about date rape. This is, of course, based solely on one innocuous line of the lyrics – “Say, what’s in this drink?” – and further conjecture based on the (usually) male singer’s pushiness.

Allow me to, if I may, offer a different yet equally modern interpretation.

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Being Big

My stats tell me that someone recently did a search on my site for an essay on Lloyd from Phonogram: The Singles Club. I’m not sure what specifically you were hoping to learn about him, but I do have thots on him, so whoever you are, hopefully you will be back.

When The Singles Club was first coming out, trickling out really, the character I most related to was Emily. Emily is the leader of her own coven of Phonomancers which is what other indie music scenesters know her for, but her defining character trait is that she has completely and consciously reinvented herself. Much of her story is about her old self occasionally peeking through and her current one trying to squash the other out. So long as she doesn’t feel like gloating to her own reflection anyway.

A lot of the reason why I liked her story was because I felt I couldn’t be who I really wanted to be at the time. I’m sure your own home is probably not unlike mine, in that you cannot really do anything new or different without people making something of it. I am shy in a lot of ways, and sensitive to that kind of thing. I wanted to change myself, but I wanted people to treat it as if I was always like that and there was nothing funny or stupid about any change I had made. Emily’s transition into her new self was very enviable. (The Immaterial Girl may reveal otherwise.)

Now that I live by myself and am free to pursue being who I really want to be, I find that nowadays Lloyd’s conflict most resonates with me.

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The Comprehensive Guide to Barbie and the Rockers Fashions, Part 2: Center of the Universe

So the first three minutes and change of this movie is a mixture “look at this concert and our visual effects skills” and a montage of magazine covers, quick scenes, and global concert footage establishing that Barbie (and to a lesser extent, the Rockers) are the hottest shit that ever shat.

Barbie, alone, on the cover of Barbie Magazine, wearing a pink and black dress.

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The Comprehensive Guide to Barbie and the Rockers Fashions, Part 1: Concerted Individuality

Talk about dated movies.

Released in 1987, most people who have anything to say about Barbie and the Rockers recall it only as Mattel’s half-hearted stab at the market that Hasbro was capitalizing on with their Jem and the Holograms cartoon and line of fashion dolls. Unfortunately, because Jem had been cancelled by ’88, but Barbie and the Rockers were on VHS, I had never heard of the former and instead watched the living shit out of this.

Watching it now, you can definitely tell when it was made. But that’s part of the fun, ain’t it?

The biggest tell is not the soundtrack which, though very synthpop, is half-comprised of cover songs. This is probably why the movie has never seen an American DVD release, getting the rights to all the covers again. These screenshots come from the Italian DVD release, which seem not to include the second half of the movie where they go back in time to 1959 (the year Barbie was introduced). Which is a shame because if you like this article, you’d love (as Salmon put it when she watched it with me) “oh lord, the 50’s according to the 80’s”.

But no, it is the undeniably the outfits, of which there are many, that plant this cartoon squarely in the “this is from the 80’s” camp.

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Miranda Priestly and the Clackers: Being Heard and Seen

Almost all of my shoes have heels. Three inches minimum. I had wanted to wear them since I was a little girl. They made you look taller and undeniably more mature. But the best part about them, thought I at age five, was the sound they made.

It’s a sound, I later learned, that some people think ought to be suppressed. In the film The Devil Wears Prada, Andrea complains about her job and mentions a group of women she calls Clackers, because of the sound their stiletto heels make on the marble lobby of her office building. “They worship her”, she says of Miranda Priestly, Andrea’s boss and the editor in chief of Runway, the fashion magazine they both work for.

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 We bought a fish this weekend. No name yet, but look how handsome! Like a little watercolor painting.  I've never recieved a dozen roses before!
 Dragonfruit. They're red on the outside but the inside is fuschia! Not very flavorful though. It reminds me of guava nectar.  Using the wax seal set my parents gave me for Christmas to send a thank you note to Simon's sister for inviting me to her wedding.

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